Many of the entries you will read on my blog were a result of a solo sojourn. My first experience dining solo was when I worked for a company that required frequent out of town travel. I sometimes would eat in the restaurant of the hotel where I was staying. Sometimes male diners would try to send me drinks or try to invite themselves to my table. Savvy, protective servers would intercept these unwanted advances. Sometimes I just ordered room service. In cities where I knew someone in the area I would make arrangements to connect with the person while in the area or ask which restaurant they recommended.
One dining experience I will never forget happened while I
was in Palm Springs California on a mini-vacation in the early 2000s. I had read on the internet about a restaurant and decided to visit. I made the reservation and showed up. The hostess showed me to my table and gave me a menu to read. A couple nearby spoke to me. It was soon apparent that the couple was inebriated. The husband declared, 'you are too pretty to eat alone'. He and his wife got up from their table; he plopped in the seat across from me. The wife slid into the seat next to me at the adjacent two- top table. Nearby diners looked on horrified that the couple had resettled and were now simultaneously grilling me about why I was dining alone and recommending what I should order. The restaurant manager arrived soon thereafter and helped the couple back to their table to collect their belongs and guided them out of the dining room. After a few minutes the manager returned apologizing profusely.
Fortunately, the experience didn't ruin the rest of my mini-vacation in Palm Springs or my desire to explore other dining venues.
Here are my suggestions for making the most of solo dining sojourns:
- Make a reservation for your desired dining time. Many restaurants will accept reservations for a party of 1 (I have list of online booking tools on my blog). I am aware that some restaurants have setup their booking systems not to accept reservations for a single party. If I really want to go the restaurant I will call the restaurant and see if I can make the reservation over the phone.
- Know that the restaurants are generally busiest Friday and Saturday evenings and if that is the evening you want to dine consider going early or going late. When I dine early I often plan another activity afterward.
- Dine on Sunday thru Wednesday - the restaurant is quieter and the chances of getting that special table.
- Consider dining a the bar if full service is available at the bar. I generally taking reading material with me. Sometimes another person at the bar will make small talk, and there's often another person at the bar dining. If you are uncomfortable for any reason let the bartender or restaurant manager know as soon as possible.
- Engage the server- ask questions about what's good on the menu and what they like. Most servers want to engage with their customer. Smart, savvy servers know that a happy customer could turn into a repeat customer who refers friends and tells those friends to ask for that server.
- Bring a newspaper, magazine or book with you to read while waiting for a beverage or meal to arrive. I often catch up on my reading and note writing while dining.
If you do dine solo often, what has your experience been? Do you have other suggestions?
I hope my suggestions have made you rethink taking a solo sojourn.
Bon Appetit!
Technicolor girl
Technicolor Girl, I love food and I love dining out alone. I moved to the Baltimore area in 2001 from Detroit and had to learn to eat alone while I built my network-and many in my network were married with children and couldn't get out as much as me. I discovered my own company was great! I often take things to read, and sometimes will bring my journal to catch up on some writing. Thanks for the post! Brooke- Bmore
ReplyDeleteI have also been dining solo for decades due to business travel or simply because I want to try a new restaurant and no one is available to come along. The 'call' of the food is too much to resist. :) I have found that with smaller privately owned (non-chain) restaurants, if you go in during the slower hours, chefs have made me my own special dish. I love this kind of attention and being a taste tester!!
ReplyDeleteI have found that sitting at the bar as you suggested is a great way to converse with other people and the bartender is likely to chat with you when they can. I used to bring reading materials with me when I first started dining alone, but now I forego the reading materials.
I feel the best times for breakfast or dinner is earlier dining hours and for a Friday or Saturday I go for an early dinner as you suggested. Crowded restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night can make me feel a little uncomfortable.
There are times dining alone might feel awkward, but I hold my head high and I casually look around the restaurant just as I would if I were with someone.
Sometimes the exterior confidence I exude is a mask, but the alternative of sitting at home and possibly missing out on an exceptional meal isn't worth it. But, I am a slave to my appetite. :)
Hello Technicolor Girl.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first times I dined alone, I was job interviewing in Seattle and Boca Raton. People gawked as though I was injured and needed their help. I always react with a smile to show confidence in spite of their stares.
Since then I have lived in busy cities in several states, in which some of them I lived alone and also had to build a network of friends. Even when having friends nearby, there are times when I want to experience a menu at a restaurant and my friends do not or our schedules conflict. Sometimes I just want to be alone. I rarely bring reading material, but sometimes I am guilty of using the Internet on my phone while waiting for drinks or a meal, unless I am sitting at the bar, where I welcome conversing.
I have a great love for many different kinds of food and love tasting chefs' inventions, so I have no problem with going solo for the sake of a great meal.
I used to feel uncomfortable dining alone, but now I do it quite regularly and enjoy doing so. It gives me time to wind down and really enjoy my meal while also giving me more opportunity to connect with my server on a more personal basis. This way I become a 'regular' in their eyes much more quickly and have the perks that come along with that. I would definitely suggest, as others have, to take the time to converse with those around you if you're in a bar setting, and to get to know those working at the establishment -you may end up with a complimentary dessert or drink!
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