Dining with Dignity

I read with a heavy heart the story of group diners in North Texas receiving their checks to settle their bill only to discover that that the server has used a derogatory word (in this case the infamous "n" word) to describe each diner at the table. The explanation was the server used the "n word" as a label  to keep the order straight and he meant nothing by using the word. The manager explained that the server was new, offered the diners a free meal, apologized to the diners, and  fired the server. The diners have accepted the apology.

I knew the area where the restaurant was located because I lived in North Texas for over a decade. I decided to conduct an informal survey of people I knew who still lived in North Texas to see if anyone had eaten at the restaurant. None of the respondents had eaten at the restaurant. Only one knew where the restaurant was located. All stated they would never set foot in the establishment. A few shared story with others in their network.

A local pal told me "this kind of thing only happens in the south". Not true. I shared what happened to me on my first and last visit to   The Majestic   in Virginia.  After running errands I stopped to have an early dinner and was told the dining room was not yet open, but I could have a drink at the bar before dinner. A man walked in and occupied the seat adjacent to mine. When he sat down he didn't acknowledge my presence or ask if the seat was taken (an unspoken matter of etiquette) and immediately turned his back to me.  I continued to sip my cocktail waiting for the dining room to open. The man ordered a drink and as he drank he launched into an argument with a group of four people to his right. The comments were of a political nature, but also  disparaging comments targeted at and about African-Americans. I became uncomfortable and called the bartender over for my check. She noticed my discomfort and asked what was going on. I replied that she had a disruptive customer and nodded toward the man. She told me she hadn't been paying attention. By the time the bartender returned with my check and I quickly settled my bill the tension in the space adjacent to mine had exploded. One of the other diners at bar yelled to the bartender and manager, "you're about to lose good customers!". It was too late. The group of four made a hasty retreat.  I had walked from the bar and was now trying to secure a seat for dinner.The diner who yelled to the bartender and manager asked if I was okay. I nodded affirmatively. The manager told me no seats were available and that they were booked for the evening. I calmly walked out of the restaurant and found another establishment to enjoy an early dinner.

Every diner deserves the opportunity to dine with dignity, just as every member of the dining staff deserves to be treated with dignity by diners. Dining establishments are businesses that rely upon repeat business, referrals, and solid, positive  reviews to be successful and remain in business. I remain hopeful that dining with dignity is something that each of us can enjoy in the very near future.


Be well,

Technicolor girl

image created by Ink+ LLC